putting spice back in your sex life part V

This may go along with role play to an extent but part V is....
change roles.
It seems in every sexual situation (especially with couples), one person is the aggressor and the other is more passive.  Want to spice it up...switch roles. Does your partner always come to you for sex?  Be the aggressor and initiate.  Hop in the shower with your partner, offer a sexual massage, send a sexy text, just come out and say I want you tonight.
NOw if you're like me (very sexually aggressive:), let your partner come after you.  There is a rush associated with being the persuer and the persued.

ARe these tips helping your sex life.....share on the blog comments:).
Stay sexy,
Lila

adding spice to your sex life part IV

Now we've got the dirty talk going from part III, and we are on to part IV. 
We know sex with the same person can get boring , so why not role play?
Think about it..who doesn't want to be someone else once in a while?  Now me, I'm one for the all out role play.  Never shy to go in the sexy store and pick out a costume, sexy nurse, belly dancer, hell I've even dressed up as someone else , wig and all, and pretended to be a sexy stranger. Then get into character...are you the cop?  Use your partner's belt to bind his hands while you go crazy riding him.  Nurse.....use some medical jargon when you talk to your lover.  Role play isnt just for ladies (I'm telling you guys dress up as a soldier and it's a fun night for you.)
Sometimes an escape from reality is all we need....bring a new you into the bedroom and it's great sex for both of you...occasionally escaping from yourself is just what you need to feel sensual.
STay sexy,
Lila

putting spice back in your sex life....part III

So now we've thought yourselves sexy, asked for what we want in bed so that sex life should be spicing up...but in case you need a little more insight.....onto #3

Dirty talk in bed

Ok ....one of my personal favorite fun parts of sex.  I have a very no holds barred mouth in bed, and I've yet to find a partner who didn't love it.  If you aren't shy, let your imagination run wild.

When my lover comes into bed, I love to tell exactly what I want to do to him. 
I want to kiss a trail down your body, take your cock in my mouth until you're so hot that you really want to taste me.  When we fuck I want you to take me from behind until I cum all over you. 

By the time I get those words out, both of us are roaring to go.

If you're a little shyer, sexy texts are a great way to express what you want later.  If you  don't like the naughty language (come on...it's fun:), say it a different way. 
I can't wait until you're on top of me, inside me.
I can't wait to feel your body later.

Last but not least, nothing is sexier than hearing I'm cumming.

Trying these ideas for adding spice to your sex life.....give some feedback.
Stay sexy,
Lila

adding spice to your sex life part II

Now you've thought yourself sexy.....so what's next?
Part II: Ask for what you want .
This has never been hard for me, but I'm always surprised when friends (of both sexes) tell me what they want in bed and don't get it...when I ask if they told their lover, the answer is always some form of no.  "I'm embarrassed" or "I don't know how to ask". 
My response GET OVER IT.  Just kidding.  This can be an awkward conversation.
But who doesn't love some sexy talk? Try adding some into your scene to get what you want.  Who doesn't want to hear "If you touch my clit, cock, whatever, right now I'll cum."  Or  "I love when you...".  And don't be afraid to show....not getting the touch you want? Let your fingers do the walking and show how you want to be touched.  Or let your partner watch you masterbate (always a thrill).
Being pleased = you wanting to please your partner= great sex for both of you.  That's the winning equation (my orgasm equation).
So don't be afraid to speak up!
Stay sexy,
Lila

getting the spice back in your sex life....part I

With Holidays comes extra time being busy and less time sex and romance with our loved ones....that led me to think about 7 ways to get the spice back in your sex life....revealed one at a time this week.

#1: Think yourself sexy.
It's going to be hard for someone to see you as sexy if you don't.  Take a long look in the mirror and find parts of you that you like instead of harping on the one part you hate.  I love my sexy , toned shoulders, nice legs, round butt, and nice breasts.  That being said, I am one sexy bitch...who cares about that one part I don't like.
Don't join in the body bashing that friends participate in.  Think positive, be positive and it spreads to others.
Have a go-to picture of yourself in your mind that you think of on a day when you feel low.  For me, I imagine my first half marathon picture at the finish line.  I was smiling (due to the first photographer who told me he was taking the pic) and my body looks strong, and I just felt powerful.  I mean I smiled after I ran a half marathon:) .  So I keep that image in my head, anytime I feel negative self-talk coming on.  Me -powerful:).
Accept compliments....if someone says you look great say thanks.  Once at work, someone told me I never have a bad day, always hair and makeup done.  While that is a bit of an exaggeration, I squashed the impulse to say that and just said thanks.  Their compliment made my day....why shoot them and myself down.


Read on tomorrow for more ways to add spice to your sex life.  Post any feedback...I welcome it.
Stay sexy,
Lila

sunday....

Sunday...last day after a long weekend to return to the real work world.  Time for my long run (long training run for February's marathon every Sunday).  It's such a ritual I'd be lost without it.  Do you have any Sunday rituals?  Reply to me and let me know if you do.
Still looking for local business owners to interview on the blog....let's get the word out for people to shop local this holiday season.
Lacing up my New Balance....gotta fly.
Stay sexy,
Lila

trying out a new writing style:)

So for my latest piece, Whirlwind, I am focusing more on the romantic side than the sex (but make no mistakes, there is a lot of hot sex in there because I still have to be me).  This makes writing a little harder though....but giving myself the I can do it prep talk.  Happy weekend everyone!
Stay sexy,
Lila

let me advertise your local business

Hi everyone,
I want to support local business this holiday season, so I would like to interview a local business person (CT or NY) each day until Christmas.  Just a few questions to tell readers about you and your business.  Any interested person, reply to me here or lilaharterotica@ymail.com
Hope to talk to you soon.
STay sexy,
Lila

Black Friday

Ahh Black Friday....that day I never understood. Standing in line with a bunch of crazy people to save a few bucks....most stores run the sales again before Christmas anyways (and sometimes before Thanksgiving...yours truly got a great sweater at the Limited for 10 bucks (it's awesome, shows my curves off:).
Give the gift of an experience for Christmas....I buy few presents now...not because I'm cheap, but because I like to spend time with those I love instead.
I might go to dinner with a few cherished friends, wear some sexy lingerie and plan a night out with that special, sexy guy, or have some crazy adventure like rock climbing with a cool adventurous buddy.  Gifts come and go , memories are forever.
Wanna skip the line and shop online.....http://lilahart.yolasite to check out my books .  www.redrosepublishing.com to buy one.
Now off to the gym to keep those curves.
Stay sexy,
Lila

What I'm thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I'm thankful for so much today.  My friends, family, co-workers, as I am each year.  However, I have some new things I'm thankful for this year.  As a new erotica author, I am thankful to see people reading my books.  My ebooks , Best Vacation Ever and Protect Me, are currently the #1 and #2 daily hotsellers at www.redrosepublishing.com and Best Vacation Ever is #12 bestseller in the menage category. 
Also ran in the Manchester Road race today and am so thankful that I finished and am in good health to do so.
What are you thankful for?
Enjoy the day everyone.